cracker

A cracker can be delicious, or it can be disgusting. It is most definitely "mood food" - meaning that you have to be in the mood to eat crackers. Webster defines cracker as, "a dry thin crispy baked bread product that may be leavened or unleavened," (Webster must have been a Jew - who else would put "unleavened" in their definition?).

Cracker can also be used as a disparaging term to describe white people. Sort of like the way I feel when I go to Marvin (or Local 14, in cubicle slang). You know what I'm talking about, because its happened to you if you've been there. The bouncer (who mind you, is wearing a beret and a 3 year-old vest from J Crew with a polo shirt...an urban hipster, if you will) eyes me up and down and scans my ID like he's going to make me one of those identity theft victims from the Capital One ads, while I await his "approval" for entry to the domain of $7 Belgain beers and weak cocktails, without even the ability to wear flip flops on the roof deck. This guy is most definitely thinking, "look at this effing cracker...".

So, any of you crackers want to go hang on the rooftop at Marvin after work?